The Trap
By: Gideon, Cranor
On a cold winter night deep in the Alaskan wilderness a trapper named Jon is getting ready to go check his traps. Jon is nervous of the journey ahead because he has seen signs of wolves recently on his rout. But nonetheless he starts out on the long trek with the fresh snow falling on the ground and the howling of the wind.

Jon made a crucial decision to check one more trap and go home. He starts up again but more cautious than before. As he gets near his final trap he sees no wolf tracks and as he pulls up he can see he got a fox. After getting the fox pelt he goes back to his snowmobile and gets back on his way. Jons gurney back was all good tell he got to his third trap and he realizes that he is being followed by a wolves pack. He takes this as a warning and gets out of there.
By the time he gets to his second trap he can smell them and he is running low on gas he knows he will run out so he stops at old camp and prepared to fight. Within five minutes he can see them as clear as day. Jon realizes that he might not make it out alive. After five minutes of fighting a wolf makes it in and attacks Jon but Jon fended the wolf of with his pistol. He then gets on his snowmobile and makes a run for home. Jon hade one shot left and he took it he had to take the wolver into the open. Within a few miles of the cabin he is forced to whack he made it out of the woods and the wolves were hesitating to follow him into the open.
Jon was trying to put as much distance between him and the woods. Jon looked back and there was one wolves following him but after a couple warning shots it backed off. Finely Jon was within 10 yards of his cabin and he was somewhat safe. As he gets to the door he looked back and the wolves were retreating to the trees. Jon got in his hut just in time and he begins to treated his wound and blacked out.

Gideon,
ReplyDeleteYour story was very descriptive, it made it easy to imagine myself in this position. One thing you could work on is proper grammar. Next time, work on past tense phrases and using plural nouns properly.
Gideon,
ReplyDeleteOne thing I liked about your story would be that it was in Alaska and the guy had to fight off wild animals.One thing I add would be adding more detail.I think the one spot that needed the most detail would be when he is fighting off the wolves.